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My Personal Struggle with Competiveness

10/27/2013

3 Comments

 
Somewhere along the line...when I was young...I became extremely competitive. It probably had a lot to do with my family dynamics.  But...to be honest...the reasons are not important. 

As I recall...competitiveness was looked upon as a positive trait.  It seemed that most in authority and advisory positions encouraged it.  When I first exhibited a competitive nature, it was reinforced. Consequently, it became part of my personality.

From the ages of 9 through 19, my life was mostly a series of "victories."  By the time I was 20, I had accumulated piles of ribbons and certificates and hundreds and hundreds of trophies.  It got so there was no place to put it all.

"Blessed" with a quick mind, a bit of coordination and a resilient, tenacious nature, I won everything in sight...despite my diminutive size. The first thing I remember winning was the "Camper of Year" award at the Rye Recreation Summer Camp. After that there were awards for high scholastic rankings in grammar school, punt-pass-and-kick, the President's Physical Fitness Award, and all sorts of sporting achievements recognized at the local YMCA.  Oh yeah...and of course the watermelon eating contest. And this was all before I was in high school.

I was exposed to Sunfish sailboat racing when I was 12 or so.  It wasn't long before I was having success and bringing home trophies for winning regattas.  I won my first regatta when I was 14 against a bunch of adults.  Recognition followed.  I became more competitive.

Once I reached high school, I took up wrestling.   Since I was 4'9", 78lbs...and due to the fact that wrestling is organized by weight classes...this was the only high school sport at which I could realistically participate.  I took a minor beating while I grew into the 100lb weight class...but eventually I came into my own.  By the time I was a senior, I was an All County wrestler in the 107 lb class.  I was voted the school's best athlete.  Around the same time I received recognition for my scholastic achievements,  I gave my senior class valedictorian speech...even though I was not the actual top ranked student.

I continued to pursue sailing throughout high school.  Success came quickly.  When I was 19, I won the 1976 World Sunfish Championships in Venezuela.  I came home a local hero...or so I thought.  I was interviewed for a book.  They wrote me up in the newspaper.  People sent me cards and letters and banners of congratulations. I was selected to participate in a developmental program for sailors at the Olympic training center in Lake Tahoe. My parents glowed.  I brought fame and recognition to myself and my family.  It all sounds so perfect doesn't it? 

But after I won the Worlds, something changed.  I had placed great importance on eventually being a world champion.  In my mind...this would make everything OK.  I'd garner respect...and girls...and well...girls...and, of course, love...and did I mention girls?  It didn't go the way I expected.

I'm not sure when it hit me...a day...a week...a month after the "triumph" in Venezuela.  But I can only describe it as an emptiness...a kind of desperate dissatisfaction.   The sun came up the day after my victory and it was like nothing had happened.  Sure there was an afterglow and I got all the pats on the back and all.  But nothing had really changed.  I was still me...only now my little ivory tower was not so little. In fact, The electric bill for the tower had gone up dramatically.  Now what?  That quickly became the pressing question.

I glossed over all those years of winning things.  I was competitive alright.  I was so competitive, I would do anything to win.  Did I mention that I cheated on the President's Physical Fitness test...or that I submitted 49 fake book reports in 4th grade...or that I lied about how many laps I did around the Rye "Y" gym in a running competition...or that I cheated on the French regents in high school?  Luckily, I got caught with the fake book reports and the laps around the "Y." Those were precious lessons.  They helped me cultivate a bit of honesty.  I'd have probably gotten caught with the President's Physical Fitness caper but I'm pretty sure our gym teacher was drunk.  It's not like I was the world's biggest cheater.  It's just that I valued winning over everything.  My identity was built on it.

Once I won the Worlds, there was a pressure...a pressure to sustain what I had built...and to do even more.  It had become my way of being.  I didn't go to school to learn anything.  The point of school was to get grades, get recognition and basically keep everyone off your back.  I continued to sail and also took up distance running.  I made a half-hearted effort at becoming an Olympic sailor but I didn't have the discipline or the skills or the energy and lost interest.  I won a bunch more stuff in sailing but it was hollow. There was no joy...only relief.  I was confused. 

My lists of things I wanted to accomplish were mostly just a bunch of titles or awards I sought to accrue. Pathetic.

Bit by bit... running replaced sailing.  I began competing in running and eventually lost interest in sailing. Running was different because you could compete against yourself.  It was satisfying because it was such an honest sport.  The watch didn't lie.  Hard work was rewarded.  I began cultivating some more lasting qualities...like discipline.

But even though running was a somewhat kinder, gentler sport, I had, in fact, created my inner monster.  I started to notice my feelings toward others.  When I went to a sporting competition, I viewed the other participants as people to be outdone.  It was a form of disdain really.  They were people that I needed to outperform.  I had to to place myself above them. 

The thing is...these people that show up for running races or any sporting event...they are...well...people. They have feelings and families and needs and problems.  They are human beings.  They are not there so I can make myself look better by out-performing them.  I feel I can do better than that.

No one explained to me that climbing and climbing and elevating yourself over others carries a great price.  It distances you from humanity.  You may think people respect you, but they mostly resent you. Eventually you need to come down from your tower. If you don't, life will bring your tower down.  Ask Lance Armstrong.  You can come down voluntarily or involuntarily.  I recommend the former.  And by the way...the higher the tower, the bigger the splat when you fall.  Better to knock it down before it's too big.

When I was 33, I read "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman.  The day I read that book, I chose to change the trajectory of my life...every so slightly.  And just like an alcoholic, I began to rehabilitate myself.

I've stumbled and bumbled along....making many mistakes.  I've had to accept the ruthlessly competitive aspect of myself while at the same time disciplining it like a small child.  It has not been easy.  Luckily, I've had a teacher or two that has bravely shown me the utter folly and ugliness of needing to place yourself over others by winning things.


You may find all this a bit confusing.  We are taught to win.  Actually, it's more like we are programmed to win.  And I'm certainly not here to tell you how to be or what to value.  Nor am I suggesting sport is bad or that we shouldn't test ourselves or measure performance or develop excellence.  Far from it.

I'm just sharing my story.  As I grew more and more competitive...and as I needed to finish "ahead" of others... I grew colder in my feelings.  Letting go of outcomes and simply competing for the joy of it all...as opposed to needing to beat anyone...helped me grow warmer in my feelings.  It's about feelings.  It seems to me that's all that matters.

I like the warmer feelings better.
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3 Comments

Excellent Article on Patience

10/25/2013

0 Comments

 
Here is an absolutely brilliant article on patience.  It's written by an extremely experienced trainer and fitness enthusiast Andrew Read.  Everything this guy writes reflects years of hard-earned wisdom.  Please have a look if you get the chance.

Patience is a quality worth cultivating.
0 Comments

The Power of Words

10/22/2013

4 Comments

 
Watch what you say.  It has far more power than you know.

I just read an article by Sharon Prete....a life coach for Optimum Performance Training... where she described her childhood gymnastics training.  When she was in the gym, the coach never allowed anyone to say "can't."  Instead...they were taught to say...“I am not able to do that at this moment, but with hard work, dedication and practice I am sure I will master it.”  This was a very strong practice.

My Mom was in a head-on auto collision a few years ago. She was 80 years old when it happened.  She suffered a broken neck, a broken wrist, a broken foot, several broken ribs and all sorts of bangs and bruises. After the accident, she developed a frozen shoulder and lost the use of her left arm...the arm opposite the arm with the broken wrist.  At one point, she could not use three of her four limbs...all while her neck was immobilized in one of those cervical collars.  It was a challenging time.

After my mother was released from the rehabilitation hospital...where she was miserable...we brought her home to live with my wife and I.  After numerous setbacks...along with several negative experiences with physical and occupational therapists...my Mom would only trust me.  It put a of pressure on me. 

Luckily, I got some help from a doctor David Leaf who knew how to cure a frozen shoulder...among other things. He had one of the strangest bedside manners I have ever witnessed but he was also a genius and a good teacher.  He showed me what to do.  I became my Mom's "trainer." 

While serving in the role of trainer, I learned a valuable lesson.  Words have power.  They have energy.  When you utter them you imprint reality with their vibration.  I know this because I have experienced it over and over...firsthand. 

At one point, my Mom was very discouraged.  She was weak...in pain...and couldn't do much of anything.  She didn't like doing exercises and wasn't making much progress.  One night while putting her through a series of exercises...she was at a low...extremely discouraged.  Out of sheer desperation I told her to say the words "I can do it" before performing the exercise.  I insisted she say it whether or not she believed it.  She obliged.  The turnaround was instantaneous.  She was stronger.  We built on it.  She improved steadily.  When I noticed any hint of weakened spirit, I'd say "Strong, Strong" and insist she say the same.  "Strong, Strong" and "I can do it" became our mantras.

My Mom recovered.  She ain't perfect but she's almost 84 and has the use of her shoulder and all her limbs.  I continue to be my Mom's "trainer" to this day...even though she was able to move back home and live on her own. 

My Mom had lots of assistance with her recovery...seen and unseen.  But there's no doubt in my mind...words played a crucial role.

I invite you to harness the power of words.  When faced with a daunting challenge...a heavy weight...many miles...a complicated problem....or any number of the hurdles we face on a day-to-day basis...pound your chest and say whatever beautiful words of courage and love you can muster.

Strong, Strong
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4 Comments

Marathon Recovery

10/20/2013

6 Comments

 
Lots of folks running marathons this weekend and in the weekends to come.  Now is probably a good time to remind ourselves of the post marathon recovery period.

I have to confess...I never got the marathon recovery thing right.  I was always too impatient...never allowing enough time for rest and relaxation.  If I was lucky...it simply delayed my recovery.  If I was unlucky...it lead to injury and/or illness.

Since I obviously don't know much about marathon recovery, I found an article that does a good job of explaining how the post-marathon recovery period should be handled.  You can read it here.

All I can say is...be kind to yourself.

PS...if any of you ran a marathon this past weekend...maybe you could post your results and/or experiences to the "comments" section here.  Thanks.
6 Comments

Last Minute Marathon Tips

10/17/2013

2 Comments

 
Since a lot of folks are running marathons...or even ultramarathons...over the next several weeks, here a few final ideas:
  • Stay light and loose.  Enjoy friends, funny movies, nature, bubble baths, dogs and children.  Listen to the birds.  Let the sweet outdoor sounds calm you and remove your anxiety.
  • Avoid too much TV.  Don't watch anything violent or overstimulating.
  • Get plenty of sleep but don't stress if you have some difficulty sleeping the night before the race.
  • Stay to your normal routines as much as possible. 
  • Eat what you are used to eating.
  • Stay away from excess carbohydrates.  Make sure to have some protein with all your meals.
  • Keep race strategy simple and fluid. 
  • Go out easy and gently increase your pace until it feels right.  Let your body dial it in to that sweet spot.
  • Keep even effort.  Give in to the uphills and headwinds.  Let the downhills and tailwinds naturally increase your pace.  No sudden surges or increases in pace.
  • Try to stay out of your head and in your body.  Pay attention.
  • Compete with your fellow runners...not against them.  They are fighting are hard battle too.
  • Be kind to yourself when the race is over.  See to your needs.
  • Be brave.  Pound your chest if you are scared.
  • Have fun.
Good luck to all...and to all a good race.

Coach Paul


2 Comments

Fitness Defined

10/13/2013

2 Comments

 
I'm taking an on-line coaching course from an excellent coach...probably one of the best in the world.  One of our most important assignments is to define fitness.

Here's what I came up with:

Fitness -  The ability to skillfully handle the physical challenges of daily life, play and sport while promoting robust health and overall well-being.

What do you think?

You might want to enter your personal definition in the "Comments" section.  There is no right answer. 
2 Comments

Q&A

10/11/2013

2 Comments

 
Mary asked the following question:

Hi Paul,

I wanted to ask you a question but forgot to Wednesday night.  I'm running the BAA half marathon this Sunday. Baystate marathon is the following Sunday. My question is; At what pace should I run the half without affecting my marathon?  I was thinking of running it at marathon pace.  But should I run it slower as a training run?

Thanks for your help,
Mary
Here's my answer:

Hi Mary,
 
Yeah...that's pretty close to your goal race so you want to be careful.
 
I'd suggest doing a progression run.  Start  out easy like a regular training run...very relaxed.  Let the pace come down  naturally and then run the last 5-8 miles at your goal marathon pace...assuming  you feel good.  If you don't feel so hot, just run easy.
 
Try not to get to caught up in the excitement  of the event because you'll want to save your precious adrenaline for the week  after.
 
Hope
this helps.
 
Good luck,
Paul
2 Comments

My 10% Rule for Racing

10/11/2013

0 Comments

 
I've got a little rule I follow when it comes to running races.  Well, it's really more of a guideline than a rule (name the movie for extra credit).  Nonetheless...I find it works very well. You might want to try it. It goes like this:

In races of 1 mile and beyond...hold back for the first 10% of the race....then...let your body be your guide.

First...a little background.  Most runners have a plan when they run a race.  Usually, their plan involves running a certain pace...as most runners know that the fastest way to run any race over a mile is to a run an even pace.  Actually, what you want is even effort...but for now let's just assume a flat course with little wind...in which case pace and effort would basically be the same.

Pace is usually measured by minutes per mile.  Consequently, when the runner reaches the first mile, they look at their watch and adjust their pace accordingly.  If they are ahead of schedule, they might slow down.  If they are behind, they might speed up...if they can.  Regardless, they use their mile "split" as their guide.

The problem with using the first mile "split" as feedback is that it is often not representative of current pace.  For example, a runner may hit the first mile of a race in 6:00.  Since runners have an overwhelming tendency to go out at a pace faster than they can hold for the entire race...the first quarter mile very well might have been 1:20, the second quarter mile 1:27, the third quarter mile 1:33, and the fourth quarter mile in 1:40.  It puts you at 6:00 for the mile, but your most recent quarter mile was at 6:40 pace.  Assuming there is no significant variation in terrain....you are not currently running at 6:00 pace.  Far from it.  You are slowing down.  This is a very common scenario...particularly with less experienced runners.

It's not that your time at the mile split does not provide feedback.  It does.  It's just that it needs to be taken with a grain of salt and there is a better way to insure you have a good race and get the most out of yourself.

The biggest reason for disappointing races is going out too fast relative to ability.  The trouble with using your mile split as a check against this is that by the time you reach the mile...most of the damage is done. It's way too late to fix things.  In a 5K (3.1mi), the first 400m is what does people in...not the first mile.  It just so happens the mile is your first chance to check your pace.

Starting out excessively fast in a distance race is like borrowing on a credit card.  You pay it all back with interest...interest in the form of additional seconds and minutes.  The more you exceed your optimal pace, the more interest you pay back....and the higher the interest rate.  It's not a linear thing.  Exceeding your pace slightly carries a low interest rate...exceeding it by a lot carries a high rate.

Guard against the trap of going out too fast by intentionally slowing down...just slightly...for the first 10% of the race.  If the race is 5 miles...stay relaxed, non-competitive, throttled back for approximately half a mile.  If it's a marathon, pull back for the first two or three miles...especially the first mile.  If it's 5K the first 500 meters (a little over a 1/4 mile) is the crucial period.  And so on.  The 10% is a general guideline.

Keep in mind...this is nothing drastic.  It is just pulling back a little. It's subtle. For example, a runner planning to run 40 minutes for 5 miles might run their first 1/4 mile in 2:05, their next quarter mile in 2:03 and then fall into their planned 8:00 per mile pace.  Assuming they are actually capable of running 5 miles in 40 minutes, they will do well.  This is just to give you an idea.  It's not meant to be exact or nit picky.  You have to go by feel.

The way to get good at this is to try it.  You have to learn what it feels like to go out relaxed and dial down your pace.  Once you do it right, you will always know how to do it.  Once you get it right, you'll discover how your body will take over and find the exact correct pace...because you let it.

This technique is really a trick.  It's nothing more than a way to trick your ego...or maybe it's a way to discipline your ego.  Either way...it works.  It works because early in a race...the first 10% maybe...the ego is in charge.  The ego wants to be a big shot...special...better than it really is.  But after the 10% period...the ego recedes and the laws of nature and your own body wisdom assert themselves.  If you keep the ego under wraps...during that "danger period" where it is trying to run the show, all will go well later.  If not...get ready for double digit interest rates.

Some people ...either due to training methods or genetics...can recover from an excessively fast early pace better than others. But most of us pay a dear price.  The good news is that there is very little penalty for going out slightly slower than your ideal pace.  In fact, it usually works out better.  Also, the longer the race, the more you can lag the pace early on.  In a marathon for example, you can "give away" a minute or two in the early going with no negative affect on your result.  In a two mile race...you can't dawdle around...you've got to go hard.  But you can still back off a second or two in the first 300 meters.

So there you go.  When your next 5K rolls around, tell yourself to stay a little pulled back...not lollygagging...but well within yourself for the first couple minutes...rather than charging out of the gate.  Remember...when it comes to running...the best tactic is to get to the finish line in the least possible time.

Good luck!!!

PS...Here are some splits from my 1991 NYC marathon.  I was hoping to run 6:00 per mile (2:37:10)
mile 1 - 7:05 (uphill)
mile 2 - 6:25 (downhill)
mile 3 - 6:08
Time at half marathon - 1:18:48
Finish time - 2:36:48 (finishing pace = 5:59 per mile)

PPS They weren't all like this one unfortunately.  I went out about a minute faster for the first 2 miles in 1990 NYC Marathon and ran 2:44:34.  Learned some lessons the hard way.
0 Comments

Things take a while

10/4/2013

1 Comment

 
I've always wondered how long it takes to feel the benefits of various workouts.  No matter how "in tune" you are it's hard to tell.  Personally...I've never read too much about it.

An
article by Jeff Gaudette over at Runners Connect actually quantifies how long it is until you feel the benefits of a running workout.  It is extremely interesting and not just for runners.  Anyone involved in endurance sports should find it provocative.  Jeff Gaudette is very knowledgeable and I find most of his material very credible so I feel the information is reliable.

In general, I was amazed at how long things take.  For example, according to the article, it takes 4-6 weeks for you to benefit from a hard long run.  That's much longer than I would have expected.  However, it only takes 1-3 days for a speed development workout.  Speed development refers to sprint workout...drills...plyometrics...things that develop pure speed.  The time frame for this is short because the improvement is mostly neurological...and that sort of development happens quickly.  That's why your apparent strength goes up so quickly when you start lifting weights.  All the immediate gains are due to neural improvements...as opposed to building muscle.

This explains many runners' fascination with and emphasis on speed work.  Speed work brings quicker results.  The longer less intense stuff takes much longer.  You can also see why scientific studies with short time frames will tend to result in more favorable results from high intensity training.

Any way you look at it...training is a process...and it seems to take some time.  I guess we should keep things fun along the way.

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." 
Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
1 Comment

Pure Imagination

10/1/2013

0 Comments

 
When it comes to training or just accomplishing big tasks...baby steps are best.  Keep moving forward a little at a time.  Develop tenacity...discipline...consistency.  If you do, you will do well.

But to really make things happen...you need one key ingredient...Imagination.  Yes...you need the massive power of your imagination.  Not only will this breathe life into seemingly mundane tasks...it will pull desirable results to you at lightening speed.
 
It's not complicated...just let yourselve imagine magical outcomes.  Imagine them in detail.  Let's say you want to be a great athlete. Start by pretending you are NOW the great athlete you want to be. Walk like you imagine a great athlete would walk. Talk like you imagine a great athlete would talk. Dress like you imagine a great athlete would dress. Carry yourself as though you are a great athlete. A world class track and field athlete does not sheepishly creep up to the track to do their workout. They walk proudly, calmly and with purpose. They exude confidence. It doesn't matter if you are terrified and secretly believe you are the biggest wimp in the world. That will change.  Just pretend you are the Lion you want to be. Do this every moment you can think of it, not just while you're working out.
 
If your imagination needs a kick start, watch top level athletes. Observe how they move and perform their sport. Mimic them. More than anything, mimic their attitude...their focus...their relaxation. Obviously, throw out all the qualities you don't care for and just imitate the aspect(s) you want to adopt. 

It does not matter how well you currently perform your sport. It does not matter if you run a 30 minute 5K and you are pretending you are a 13 minute 5K runner. Just fake it 'till you make it...or don't make it.  No matter.  It's just like when you were a child and played make believe. No different. Children learn fast. No wonder.

When I was young, I wanted to be a top sailboat racer.  I wanted it so much that I constantly engaged my imagination.  I used little toy boats. I laid them out on my bed and had pretend races. I imagined myself winning under all conditions, against the finest competition, in places all over the world. I created every imaginary situation I could think of. I gave myself all sorts of imaginary obstacles and, of course, always figured out an imaginary solution.  My pretend events included play-by-play announcing, post race interviews, press conferences, awards ceremonies, the works. Believe it or not, reality followed.  When I actually found myself sailing in a real world championship, I was able to react effectively to almost every situation because, in a sense, I had been through it all before.   

You can use your imagination in any field of endeavor. The important thing is to use it.  It's like a muscle it gets stronger with exercise.  If you find it tough to engage your imagination, it's possible you're simply not participating in the right activity.  Try to do things that capture your imagination...your spirit.  That will help.

Let's face it.  We all use our imaginations.  This is just a reminder do continue to do so...and maybe a little more often.  We have permission.
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"Come with me...and you'll be...
In a world of pure imagination.
Take a look and you'll see into your imagination..."

Willy Wonka

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