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Acceptance of Self

12/12/2013

8 Comments

 
Acceptance of self is fundamental.  It creates power.  Interestingly...the strength of your fitness program rests on it...among other things.

Unfortunately, if there is one thing that nearly all of us seem to lack...it's self-acceptance.  If you have any doubt...just observe the lengths we go to in order to win the acceptance of others.  It doesn't take long to realize that most of our actions are driven out of insecurity...our need for acceptance. 

We seek acceptance from others because we do not accept ourselves.

Making friends is so easy.  All you have to do is look people in the eye...listen...for real...and genuinely accept them unconditionally.  No scrutiny.  No judgement.  No liking or disliking.  Just kind acceptance. Care for them for a minute or two.  Try it and you see just how starved for acceptance we are.  It costs nothing.

Many of you already know this.

When it comes to fitness...most knowledgeable folks will tell you it's best to have some sort of a plan. However...before you can set out on your path...it's very helpful to know where you are...now.  More than knowing where you are going...you need to know where you are starting.   A fitness program only makes sense if it takes you from where you are now.

Self-acceptance also requires that you understand yourself.  Bobby Scott is doing a three part series of "Finding Your Essence" as it relates to fitness, because he recognizes how vital it is that we understand exactly who we are...and proceed accordingly. All good fitness programming is based on an accurate assessment of not only WHERE you are...but WHO you are. What are your natural strengths and weaknesses?  What type of movement agrees with your body, mind and spirit?  What ignites your spirit? Running is not for everyone by any means.

"Know thyself."

I know it may sound a bit strange...but it's my observation that lack of self-acceptance defeats more would-be athletes than anything else.   You see it all the time.  A person is going fine...improving, developing, making real progress.  Then something happens; they end up working out with someone more advanced...or maybe they enter a competition...or maybe they just see something on TV...or read about it...or a friend says something. Suddenly, they feel bad about themselves.  They become disheartened...lose faith...lose energy...quit...overreach...or do some other stupid thing...all because of their insecurity.  It's this very sort of thing which makes Facebook hazardous to your health.


We need to strengthen ourselves.  Strive to improve. But do so from a place of total acceptance of where you are and who you are.

Here are some simple things we can do that will help us with acceptance of self:
  • Avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk. Use words that reflect an acceptance of self. Avoid trashing your energy with words that degrade you.  They take a physical as well as a psychological toll.  
  • Strongly resist the urge to criticize others.  Avoid it like the plague.  Make it a discipline.  I can't emphasize this enough.  Every criticism that you utter is another brick you end up carrying around all day...day after day.  This is for your benefit.  The only one that actually hears all your criticisms is you...and your subconscious doesn't miss nothin'. Trust me.
  • Don't react to defeats or so-called failures. No big deal. Take it in stride.
  • Just as important...don't react to victories or so-called successes.  Take satisfaction in your achievements but still treat them like they are no big deal.  Stay on an even keel. 
  • Practice non-judgement.  Avoid labeling things as good or bad or better or worse etc..  Things just are.
  • Try to view yourself from an infinite perspective.

You may want to try this beautiful affirmation from Stuart Wilde:
"I am what I am: Eternal, immortal, universal & infinite."

Please let me re-emphasize that words have extraordinary power.  Never underestimate that.  I'm certain there will come a time...if it's not here already...where it will be possible to scientifically measure the affect of words on your physical strength.

In the meantime, remember this; 
In fitness and in life...you need stability before you can develop strength, speed, flexibility or much of anything lasting.  Stability comes first.  Self-acceptance provides stability of mind, body & spirit. 

Let's cultivate it.  Maybe we should make it a holiday resolution.

All the best!!
8 Comments
Catherine link
4/8/2014 12:59:52 am

I really like this post. I think I will print it out and keep it with me for a while. What a wonderful reminder! I noticed that you sail Sunfish too! You may enjoy this story.

I caught myself recently, during frostbite sailing on my Sunfish, saying something simply awful to myself. (I won't even repeat it!)

I realized that it wasn't just the usual harsh self criticism. It was an outrageous LIE! I countered it by saying to myself, "You have basic goodness!" An equally powerful and outrageous truth!

Suddenly, I felt like I had myself back on board again as a friend and reliable "crew."

Reply
Paul
4/8/2014 04:22:53 am

Hi Catherine,

Good awareness on your part. Most of us do not monitor our thoughts too well. The fact that you noticed...and then had the strength of will to counter punch...bodes very well for you.

It seems the negative self-talk doesn't really go away. You just get better at countering its influence...like you did.

Were you in a race?

Thanks very much for commenting...and for acknowledging your "basic goodness."

All the best,
Paul

Reply
Catherine link
4/8/2014 06:06:45 am

Hi Paul,

Thanks! I'm sure the negative self talk doesn't completely go away as long as there are capsizes! Yes, I am a regular frostbite racer, the only woman in our fleet, The Frozen Few in Edgewood. Started sailing in 2007, been frostbite racing since 2009.

I'm currently in third for the full season, over 80 races this year so far! Expect to complete the season with over 100 races by the time we finish at the end of April. Here are the current stats for this season, if you are curious.

http://edgewoodsailing.org/racing/frozen-few/2013-2014/full-season

Since I am small, at 5 foot 2, if I stand on tip toe, I work hard when the wind kicks up. Sometimes I have an advantage in light air!

Kind regards,
Catherine

Reply
Catherine link
4/8/2014 06:12:14 am

Hi Paul,

Thanks! I'm sure the negative self talk doesn't completely go away as long as there are capsizes! Yes, I am a regular frostbite racer, the only woman in our fleet, The Frozen Few in Edgewood. Started sailing in 2007, been frostbite racing since 2009.

I'm currently in third for the full season, over 80 races this year so far! Expect to complete the season with over 100 races by the time we finish at the end of April. I put the link to the full stats on this comment if you are curious to see.

Since I am small, at 5 foot 2, I work hard when the wind kicks up. Sometimes I have an advantage in light air! As long as there is enough wind to not just drift in the current. :-)

Kind regards,
Catherine

Reply
Paul
4/8/2014 07:00:14 am

Hey Catherine,

Wow...you guys do a lot of sailing in Winter! Do you ever sail at Barrington? I know they also have Sunfish frostbiting in the Winter...I think.

I've been out of sailing a long time. But I can feel for your heavy wind challenge. At 5'7", 130lbs...I was in the same boat...so to speak.

I never sailed at Edgewood...but I sailed at Barrintgton loads of times...Bristol too.

If you get up the nerve...come on up to the Northeast Regionals at Wequaquet Lake YC here on the Cape. They usually have me come over and conduct the races. It's only a couple of miles from my house.

Do you run as well?

Bye for now,
Paul

Reply
Catherine link
4/12/2014 10:56:11 pm

I do run a little, mostly 5K when I take a notion to run in Spring... like now. :-) I am not so greatly interested in the longer races. Half hour or so seems perfectly wonderful to me.

I have not sailed at Barrington, since Edgewood is right here and is fun. I will consider the exotic idea of Northeast Regionals. If that ever happens, will be sure to stop by to say hello!

Happy Spring!

C

Reply
Catherine link
4/12/2014 10:56:24 pm

I do run a little, mostly 5K when I take a notion to run in Spring... like now. :-) I am not so greatly interested in the longer races. Half hour or so seems perfectly wonderful to me.

I have not sailed at Barrington, since Edgewood is right here and is fun. I will consider the exotic idea of Northeast Regionals. If that ever happens, will be sure to stop by to say hello!

Happy Spring!

C

Reply
Catherine link
4/12/2014 10:56:40 pm

I do run a little, mostly 5K when I take a notion to run in Spring... like now. :-) I am not so greatly interested in the longer races. Half hour or so seems perfectly wonderful to me.

I have not sailed at Barrington, since Edgewood is right here and is fun. I will consider the exotic idea of Northeast Regionals. If that ever happens, will be sure to stop by to say hello!

Happy Spring!

C

Reply



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